Insomnia
by Grey Wolf of Xanthus
Summary: Ron is just lying in bed, thinking... COMPLETE, i think... Read the last disclaimer for a suprise(SLASH warning, before someone else bites my head off)
1. part 1

Insomnia

Disclaimer: Everyone belongs to J.K. Rowling, not me. This is not going to be a long fic, it's 00:35 and I'm tired but I can't sleep until I write this or Ron and Harry will chase each other around in my dreams forever and after Damien and his last boyfriend I don't want to see anyone chase anyone, don't ask lets just say Damien really should learn to lock is door.

Note: Aw poor Ron. This takes place in book 4, goblet of fire, right before the quidditch world cup at the burrow. Hey the title has a double meaning! I can't sleep and Ron  can't either, different reasons though, he doesn't write Fanfictions.

Thanx to: Undomiel, who suggested that a Harry/Ron fic might be cute.

How did they expect me to sleep? How could I? With him so close to me that I could reach out my hand and feel his smooth skin under my finger tips. This is almost too much for me to bear, that's probably the reason why I can't sleep. 

We had come up to my room and moved my bed so that the four of us would have more room. I had taken a place next to him so that I could be near him. I might not have let on, but that scar really bothered me. I was really worried about him, what if Voldemort came back and took Harry away from me? I would die. I would just die! 

He sleeps so soundly. His flesh is turned pale by the moonlight shining through the window. His hair stands out in every direction, something that I have always found very cute. The scar on his forehead stands out red in the moonlight and again for the ten thousandth time I curse Voldemort for trying to kill my Harry and for causing him such misery. 

If it wasn't for Voldemort Harry would have parents and he wouldn't have spent most his life living in a cupboard! It makes me so angry the way the Dursleys treat Harry that I want to turn them all into pincushions, but I can't. What would Harry think? They are his family after all! 

The twins are snoring softly behind me. Ha, it's to laugh at! The whole house is asleep and here I am, looking at my love's sleeping form; longing to reach for him, longing to kiss him. I wish to see his green eyes stare at me with desire, for his lips to press against mine. All wishful of course, he could never love me like I love him, he just couldn't. If only he was a girl - but then he wouldn't be Harry would he? Oh all of this isn't helping me. I can't stand it! His mouth moves as he mutters in his sleep. 

I turn away from Harry, as I really should get some sleep: we're leaving early tomorrow and I wouldn't want to fall asleep in the middle of the Quidditch match now would I? So goodnight sweet Harry, goodnight. If my dreams could come true all your suffering would never have happened, but alas I possess no such magic. I close my eyes and let myself drift off to sleep. 


	2. part 2

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Dedicated to:** The Devil You Know, Carrie and Quoth the Raven who all asked for this and to the other reviewers that liked part one of Insomnia

**Disclaimer: **Everyone belongs to JK Rowling and not to me. 

**Note: **I was really not gonna write this but people kept asking for it and I'm a sucker for a good review. So here it is. The sequel to Insomnia.  Okay this takes place after Voldemort is resurrected and Harry is lying in the hospital wing.  Again Ron's POV, I know you all want to know Harry's POV but I'll get to that, maybe…

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**Part 2**

can't believe I almost lost him. The one that is dearest to my heart was almost killed by Voldemort. How would I live without him? What would have happened if he had died? I would die too, I just know it. 

The others had gone to bed, only Sirius and I are left. How could they think I could leave him after what just happen? How can I sleep knowing that he could have been lost to me forever? All I can think about is how I almost lost him. I almost lost my Harry. Not that he'd ever be mine, how could he love me? When I am so shallow? When I thought I loved someone else? When I fought with him? So many questions and no answers for them. 

I gaze down at my Harry. That potion lets him sleep so soundly that it would take nothing to steal a kiss, but do I dare? Kisses must be given to mean something. Oh, but I long so to feel his lips on mine. They are so inviting that I can't refuse. I look over to Sirius but he is still sleeping soundly. I get out of my chair and lean over him, press my lips softly to his. They are warm, soft and intoxicating. 

I run my thumb down his cheek as I pull away, his sweet taste on my lips. How I wish he would kiss me on his own, but that is only a dream. A bittersweet dream. Oh why must I love him so? My heart aches at the mere thought of him. I am just so glad that Harry is safe. I'd give anything to keep him safe. Anything. 

"Ron?" It was Sirius. He looks tired where he sits in the chair. It must look strange to him for me to be so close to Harry. I take a step back and face Sirius. 

"Yes?" I ask as I rub my right eye sleepily. 

"Why don't you take a rest on one of the beds? I'm sure no one would mind." I agree and lay down on a bed next to Harry's. 

Sirius regards me for a moment, looking like he's going to say something, but he just ruffles my hair and wishes me a goodnight. I press my fingers to my lips. I can still taste Harry on them. I gaze at him for a few minutes more and then close my eyes. 

If I can't have him in real life, I'll have him in my dreams. He loves me in them and I cherish them with all my heart. I matter to him more than life itself. But only in my dreams… 


	3. part 3

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Dedicated to:** All of you who  asked for this and who loved the first two parts

**Disclaimer: **Everyone belongs to JK Rowling and not to me. 

**Note:** Okayslight POV change, Sirius is taking over from Ron for a bit.  Okay I'm going with Remus and Sirius are a couple so please bite my head off about it, I really need to be stomped 6 more feet into the ground.  ****

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**Part 3**

I'm glad he thought I was asleep, I know what he would have felt like if he knew I was awake. The same happened when my poor Moony got hurt, James saw me kiss him. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to die on the spot. That's why I said nothing. 

He's finally asleep. Poor Ron, I can only imagine what he feels like. It's hard to love someone, especially a friend, that doesn't love you back. Or that you think doesn't love you back. I would know - it was the same with Remus and I, but we sorted it out. 

I stand to check on Harry and Ron. The potion made Harry almost literally dead to the world, I can see why Ron had decided to steal a kiss. Ron on the other hand was having a fitful night. He must be having the worst nightmares about Voldemort killing Harry, I know I'd been having them all year. 

I gently reach out and touch the scar my godson has on his forehead and I'm filled with guilty pain. Why did I even trust Wormtail? It's my fault they're dead really. But then again it isn't; it's Wormtail's. Some friend. Not like Remus; who would have risked his life for both James and Lily, and even for me. 

Just like I know Ron would for Harry. I'm sure Ron would give his life to save Harry's. Oh Hermione might try to help Harry, she's a brave girl but from every one that is near to Harry, myself not included, only Ron would die for him. 

I only wish Harry knew how much Ron loves him. It would make him so much stronger if he knew that someone loved him more than life itself. The way Ron does. Voldemort wouldn't have a chance if Harry faced him knowing he was loved. That's the only reason he got away, because he knew he was loved. Love makes people stronger. 

That's one of the reasons I didn't go crazy; I knew that Remus was out there somewhere and he loved me, a werewolf's love is forever. I only hope a Weasley's is too. Harry needs Ron's love, even if he doesn't know it yet… 


	4. part 4

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Dedicated to:** To all my reviewers: I love you guys! You are the reason I write and my reason for being. Long live the fans! I can't praise you guys enough. 32 reviews! That's the most I ever had!!! You guys are great! 

**Disclaimer: **Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Draco, Lupin and Sirius are mine stay away or I'll cast Avada Kedavra on you all, I'm not kidding! Actually I am, they along with the other characters out of Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling, she is the genius behind them not me. I merely write fanfictions. 

**Note:** Okayslight POV change again. You wanted Harry you got Harry!!! Maybe a little OOC but hey you'd by OOC too if Voldemort tried to kill you. Um Damien asked me to tell you about our Yahoo group (Mailing list) called the New Marauders, this is the address: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/new_marauders/.  He is looking for members and asked that I ask my reviewers (I'm on the ML too) but since most of my emails never get answered I'm doing it like this. 

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**Part 4**

I wake with a throbbing headache and a thirst that's almost maddening. I sit up slightly with great effort and rub my eyes with the back of my right hand. I feel so strange and for a moment I have no idea what had happened to me. I open my eyes and I'm greeted with a painful kaleidoscope of colours that swirl around me. I shut my eyes but the pain is still there. 

Someone holds a glass for me to drink from and I drink greedily, not caring who was offering it to me or what it was. Luckily it was only water. Sweet, pure water that was lovely and cool, but not too cold upon my tongue and wonderful as it ran down my parched throat. Once it's all gone the person removes the glass from my lips and helps me lay back down. 

I am wide awake now and decide to try to open my eyes again. I carefully open them and though there is still pain it's more bearable. The person that had given me the water turned out to be Ron. He stands close to my bed and gives me a reassuring smile that doesn't mask the concern in his eyes. 

"Good morning Harry. Feeling any better?" I stare up into his eyes (a/n: does anybody know what bloody colour his eyes are? I wish JKR would put in a page called things Grey forgets and needs for her fanfictions so that I could just go there and find what I need because I can't find them in the books), they are absolutely mesmerizing. 

"A little," I say and continue to gaze up into them. He sits down on the bed next to me. 

"I was so scared that I had lost you," he says, and places his hand over his heart. I'm a little confused, does our friendship really mean that much to him? And how did he almost lose me? My brain's still foggy from the potion I drank the night before and I concentrate, sorting through the jumble of thoughts floating around in my head. 

Everything that had happened the night before came flowing back vividly as if I was being struck by lightning; the final task, Cedric's death, Wormtail, Voldemort's resurrection, the death eaters, my parents. It's all too much and all the pain that I carried around inside came flowing out as tears. 

Ron quickly wraps his arms around me and I cry into his chest. He rocks me gently and strokes my hair. 

"It's alright I'm here, we'll get through this together and Hermione will help too. It's alright." But it isn't really, Voldemort's out there and in full power and he could kill again, just as he pleased. No one was safe, not even Ron. 

I cry for what feels like hours and through it all Ron holds me in his arms and tries to soothe me. I fall asleep like that when I am too tired to cry anymore, and for the first time in my whole life I feel safe, because Ron's there; Ron's holding me and protecting me from the world outside. Ron makes me feel safe… 


	5. part 5

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Dedicated to:** To all my reviewers (Both the good and the bad) and to my dear Damien, the gay light of my live. 

**Disclaimer: **Hi this is JK. Rowling. I have decided to give everyone I own to Grey because she is so wonderful and smart and pretty and….. YEA RIGHT! Like anyone would buy that. Look I stole them okay? They are all locked in my closet and the police are after me for grand theft copyright. I'm on the run, I'm a wanted fanfiction writer and my life has been threatened (mostly by fans)… NAH! They won't buy that either. Mmm let us see, how about: I own no one? Would that work? Well it better because I'm sticking to it.     

**Note: **We are back to Ronny Wonny's POV. Now let us see, should I throw a slash tantrum or did you read the warning? Oh and if you don't like my writing please leave your name , comment and email address and I'll get back to you as soon as possibly so that we can discuss your opinion. I won't flame you, honest. I might be a Slytherin but I'm not a liar, I'd really like to discuss exactly what you didn't like about my story so that I might write something you would enjoy (aren't I the greatest, generous and most self absorbed person you have ever met? ) 

But seriously if you are gonna flame me please leave your damn email address, only cowards send anonymous flames on review pages. What am I gonna do? I don't live in America, I'm not gonna track you down for goodness sakes, and if I flame you back and you don't answer I get bored and leave it be. I'm not Volde-Wart, I can't do anything; I'm 17 I can't even drive yet! Okay I'm done; let us continue with the fic shall we?  

Wait one last thing Damien asked me to say: Gay people are nice and good and wonderful too!

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**Part 5**

He had cried himself to sleep in my arms and every tear that he spilled broke my heart and made my blood boil. I tried to calm him but it didn't work, I guess the stress of the year had gotten too much for him. I was so angry with Voldemort that I wanted nothing more than to track him down and exact my vengeance on him for hurting my poor Harry. 

But I can't, if Harry couldn't do anything to stop him how could I hope to do anything? I feel so powerless, even though I know he found safety and security in my arms when he was crying. Why must I be so powerless?! It angers me to no end that I can't even protect the one I love! It fills me with sadness that my Harry might die and that I can do absolutely nothing to stop it. 

I look down at him and I feel the familiar pang of pain in my heart; why can't he love me the way I love him? Why must it be so wrong that it might endanger our friendship if I tell him? I still don't have any answers for these and similar questions that have been racing through my mind all year. I feel tears well up in my eyes but I push them back down, I have cried enough over these last months. For once I'll be strong for Harry's sake. 

I am ripped from my thoughts when the door opens and Hermione enters the room. She looks like she had been up all night. She gives me a weak smile. 

"How is he?" She whispers. 

"Everything got too much for him," I answer. Even though she is my friend I don't want to admit so openly that my poor Harry had been crying. 

"Was he crying?" She asks and I silently curse her nosiness. 

"Yes, and after that he fell asleep, anything else?" I ask almost angrily. 

"Just one more thing. Why are you holding him?" she asks and lifts an eyebrow at me. I feel myself turn pink. 

"Um, well, I was comforting him while he cried and he fell asleep…" She nods sadly and I'm only too glad she doesn't ask any more questions. 

She's just about to leave when Harry wakes from his sleep and sits up. He looks worn out and tired, not like he normally does. I secretly wish he had just remained the warm bundle sleeping against my chest, though I can still feel him there. My skin is starting to miss his presence. 

"Oh Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asks and places her hand to his forehead. "You're burning up, I better go get Madame Pomfrey." And off she goes leaving me alone with Harry. 

"How are you feeling?" I ask but he just sinks back against me, much to my delight. 

"Horrible," He says, curling up closer to me. "Thank you for being here," he whispers and my heart is practically doing somersaults of joy. 

"No problem. I'll stay as long as you want me to," his grasp around me tightens. 

"Don't leave me, don't ever leave me," he whispers. 

I know that it must be the fever talking but I don't care. He wants me there! He doesn't want me to go and I won't, I had meant what I said when I answered him, even though he never heard me for sleep had claimed him again: "I'd never leave you Harry, never. I'd die first." 

I sink back against the pillows, Harry's head resting once again on my chest. I feel whole and complete for once in my life, and even though I know it can't last I cling to the feeling for dear life. I'll live my lie while it lasts… 


	6. part 6

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Dedicated to:** To all my reviewers (Both the good and the bad) 

**Disclaimer: **JK. Rowling is the genius behind Harry Potter. I only own my Drake-y boo (Translucent Moonlight)

**Note: **This is Harry's POV, again**. **This story is not an exact follow up on part 5, it takes place in the summer vacation after the happening in GoF. I know I kind of leave you hanging but lets just go with the book's explanation : "When he looked back, even a month later, Harry found he had few memories of the following days." And since you would remember if something um, happened lets just say nothing's changed since then.

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**Part 6**

I sit in the open window and look out at the sky above me; moon hidden in thick storm clouds and flashes of lightning on the horizon. The wind howls around the house and enters my room, picking up bits of parchments as it goes. But the storm brewing outside is nothing compared to the storm that is brewing in my heart.

Since the second challenge, no wait- even before that, I came to realise that Ron meant more to me than most of my friends. At first I thought that it was just a feeling of deeper friendship but after he sat with me and held me and comforted me and all, I'm not so sure anymore.

He's occupied my thoughts all summer (a/n: for Desideria, these are not dirty thoughts you pervert), and I only realise now that I'd thought about him more than Cho and I thought I loved her. Do I love Ron? Is that what all this means? But how can I? It's wrong to love Ron in that way, it's not natural.

Oh but it feels so right, like I was meant to feel this way about him. My heart is all a-flutter when I think about the fact that I will be going back to the Burrow soon and that he'll be there. I take the letter he'd written to me out of my pocket and read it again for what seems like the millionth time:

_Dear __Harry_

_We'll be picking you up on Sunday, be ready. I can't wait to see you again, I've missed you terribly and mum's been really worried about you._

_Can't wait to see you again_

_Ron__._

I fold it up again, press it to my heart and close my eyes. I repeat the words over and over again in my head. Can't wait…I've missed you… can't wait. I know it is wrong to feel this way about another boy, but I can't help my feelings now, can I?

The storm outside has broken loose in all its fury and the clouds are sending big raindrops down to the earth below to splash apart on the pavement. The lightning is nearer now, above my head, and I shrink down against the windowsill. The flashes are so bright that they light up the night sky for miles, like little lights being turned on.

The storm seems to mirror my feelings. I want to cry. How could Ron ever love me back? It seemed so futile to have these feelings and not to have them returned that I want to scream in frustration. I feel so alone. Why must I be even more different than I already am? Isn't being 'the boy who lived' enough? Why must I love someone that will never and can never return my love? Ron doesn't like me the way I like him, he likes girls.

I close the window and fall down on my bed, my face buried in my arms. I can't stop my tears anymore - I feel so depressed and alone that I don't know what else to do but cry. When the storm finally blew itself out later I felt better and was finally able to get some sleep…


	7. part 7

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Dedicated to:** To all my reviewers (Both the good and the bad) 

**Disclaimer: **JK. Rowling is the genius behind Harry Potter. I only own my Drake-y boo (Translucent Moonlight)

**Note: **I am sorry for the chapter mix up thing, I loaded chapter 6 twice so I quickly wrote this one to make everything okay again. This is basically a Mirror of Chapter 6 but Ron's POV. This was written very fast as excuse spelling mistakes k? 

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**Part 7**

He's coming tomorrow. TOMORROW! I can't wait and yet I almost dread it. It is like a storm is inside of me and in full fury, like two gods battling for the possession of my soul.

I had not seen him all summer but I have sent him so many letters that I'm sure his room is flooded with them. I wonder if he finds it at all strange, that I send him more letters than normal, that I keep telling him how much I miss him and that we're all worried about him.

On the one side I want to jump up and down with joy, I feel like I'm going to burst because I am finally going to lay eyes on my Harry again. My heart is racing as if by beating faster it can bring Harry to my side quicker. I can't help but feel happy and wonderful and I'm sure I'll get no sleep at all tonight.

I look out of my window to see the stars shining outside and I fight the urge to jump up and go dance around outside under them. I feel so wonderful and light. Then reality sets in again and I turn my head back to the wall and curse those stars.

But on the other side I have a tight feeling in my chest and I can't stop shaking. I don't know why I feel this way. I love him more than anything and yet now I fear him. I don't want to ever lose him and I want to tell him, but what if I tell him and he never speaks to me again? I couldn't bare that.

I feel a tear escape my eye and run over my cheek. I reach up and wipe it away angrily. Why must I always cry? And what am I going to do? Can I really live my life only as his best friend? Or will he understand and love me back? But no, he can't and he never will. I am only a friend to him, I can never be more. Harry will never love me, I know it.

I touch my lips with my fingers, remembering the kiss I stole. I still wish he had kissed me willingly but I am glad for the kiss. It brings me so much joy when ever I think of it. I am willing to live in his shadow, just s long as I can stand by his side, even if it is just as his friend… 


	8. part 8

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Dedicated to:** To my reviewers 

**Disclaimer: **JK. Rowling is the genius behind Harry Potter. I only own my Drake-y boo (Translucent Moonlight)

**Note: **mmm. Apparently I should not be writing slash because I will never achieve greatness by doing so. Ha I laugh at the stupid fool. There IS a slash WARNING if he was to stupid to read it it's not my fault.  I will hereby laugh at Seapooper. Wish he left his email so I could track him down and send him my psychologist's bill. 

Anyway back to the story. Ron's point of view. Let's say this time they sent a car to pick him up.  Very short chapter, sorry.

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**Part 8******

The car was supposed to be here ten minutes ago! Yeah, so I'm impatient. I just can't wait to see him again, can't wait to have him near me so that I can protect him. Okay, I admit I couldn't do anything against Volde-wart if he decided to attack Harry, but at least I could be by his side trying my best.

I look down the road, but still no car. I only hope nothing dreadful has happened, I've had an uneasy feeling all day and the Daily Prophet did say that Volde-wart had been spotted in the area. I pray Harry will be alright and arrive here with the excuse that there was traffic.

I sit outside for almost three hours, still waiting for him to show up. I come up with excuses to calm myself. "They got lost" "it's a longer drive by road" "car problems" "roadblocks". But my nerves are wearing thin and I can feel tears building up. Maybe he decided not to come, maybe he figured out my feelings for him and never wanted to see me again.

I lie back on the soft grass and look up at the sky. I close my eyes and I see Harry before me, his beautiful green eyes looking at me with love as he wraps me in a gentle embrace. I am so engrossed with my fantasy that I don't hear the person until they grab me by the shoulder and shake me.

"Ron!" Ginny yells and tears flow down her face. "You-Know-Who caught Harry! You have to do something!" But I can say or do nothing but gape at her. My worst fear has come true! My Harry! What can I do?!

I don't know how I got to my feet but the next moment I was running to the house, leaving Ginny far behind. I enter the kitchen and grab the jar of Floo powder. I know of only one thing that I can do. Find Lupin and Sirius. They might be the only ones that can help me find my Harry.

I get in the fireplace and as I leave I hear my mother cry out to me to wait, to be reasonable, but I can't be. I have to find my Harry … 


	9. part 9

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Dedicated to:** To my reviewers 

**Disclaimer: **JK. Rowling is the genius behind Harry Potter. She's probably have kittens if she knew what I have her characters do, hehe but then this isn't as bad as the other slash/yaoi stories out there. Hehe if you think this is bad and gross you haven't seen anything yet.

**Note: **mmm.  Okay I'm sorry I haven't written a new chapter in awhile, I had writer's block plus I have a new boy friend and I spend most my time emailing and chatting to him lately, he lives very far away. If I could bitch-slap myself and then say "bad self" I would but I hurt easily so I'm not even gonna try.  

**This one is temporary and will be replaced with a beta read one soon**

Lets have Ron talk to Remus and Sirius about his feelings. Sirius's POV and a little Remus & Sirius slash, just for fun.

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**Part 9**

It had been a nice and quite day. I had woken with Remus curled up next to me and  I had reluctantly left him to prepare him  a very late breakfast. He had been so cute where he had curled himself into a ball with the pillows turned horizontal as he held onto them. He had the blissful look of sleep on his face, obscured only by his light-brown hair that fell gently into his face. 

I had pulled on a simple pare of muggle jeans and t-shirt and had set to frying him up some eggs, bacon and toast. I set the table and poor some orange juice into two glasses. When he came down 20 minutes later, still in his pajama bottoms and his hair all meshed up he was greeted by the smell of breakfast and smiled.

"I love you" he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me gentle. As we pulled a part for air I bought my lips to his ear and whispered "I love you too" before I kissed his neck. It was when I pulled away that I saw Ron standing there, eyes wide and round and mouth open. 

Remus must have felt me tense because he turned around and blushed. Unable to say anything I smiled widely, much like an idiot would, and said "hi Ron care for some breakfast?" At this Remus punched me in the shoulder and went upstairs to change. He came back moments later dressed much the same as I was.

It was then and only then that Ron broke down and started crying, babbling on through his tears. "They kidnapped Harry, Voldemort, and I'll never see him again, he's gonna be killed if we don't do something, please you have to help me we have to do something! We can't let Harry die, I can't live without him, I love him…" and with that he sank down in a nearby chair. 

His face was in his hands and his shoulders shook as his body rocked with his sobs. My heart was broken by just looking at him cry and I knew what he felt like, for I felt the same for Remus.

I knelt down before him and looked up at Remus. He held out his hand and I took it, drawing strength, love and comfort from our bond. I hope that someday Ron and Harry would share a similar bond. 

I took a deep breath and then spoke "I know you love Harry, I saw you kiss him." He looked up at me in shock and then saw Remus' and my hands intertwined. I smiled at him and with my free hand gave his knee a squeeze. "We know how you feel, we'll try our best to get him back" Remus said and I knew whatever came I could always rely on Remus, I only wish Ron and Harry could have the same.   


	10. part 10

Insomnia

By Grey Wolf

Disclaimer: I am a bad person, a bad bad person who scares off beta readers. Wait this is not about me. I own no one, which is a good thing.

Note: Draco's pov. Hehe see how you like this one. Note read my story Broken, it helps as a intro to this chapter. Draco's dad is abusive. I think this chapter should have a higher rating for suggestions of rape. I am sorry before hand. Harry was not raped; I couldn't bring myself to do it to him

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Part 10

I stood against the wall beside my father's study's door and heard all his gruesome plans for Potter. They where plans that I was not too unfamiliar with as you might think, for you see my father had used then on me before and now he was planning to use them on Potter too. It was not the kind of plans you plan for a pleasured time either, more like the type you wish upon the very foul and wicked, like me and even I didn't deserve it.

I stood there listening to him describe his foul plans in detail to his fellow Death Eaters. I felt sick from only hearing them and I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes, remembering him close to me, violating me. I hated it. I hated him and I knew I could not let it happen to Potter. 

It was not because I felt pity for him or that deep down inside I liked him and hoped that we could someday be friends. Ha just imagine me, Draco Malfoy, friends with Weasly, Potter and that Mudblood of a Granger. It's to laugh at. My reasons for helping him are far simpler:

He is the only one that can kill Voldemort and if Voldemort is killed then the Death Eaters are no more and I will not have to follow in my dad's footsteps. I don't want to serve Voldemort but if Harry dies here then I will be forced too and I will be under my father's control forever. Harry is my only chance to get away from him. He is my only chance at happiness, if there even is such a thing.

So that is the reason I am helping. I'm only helping him to help myself in the long run. Pure, simple, selfish. That is why I am now sneaking down our slopping stairway into the dungeon, to save our dear mister Potter. It takes courage I don't have to visit this place and too remember… but I steal myself from the memories to continue on and find him.

The cell was unguarded, luck I had not bargained on and I pull the key I stole from my father's study out of my robe pocket. It turned loudly in the lock and the door creaked open. I creped into in to the room, my heart beating in my chest for fear of what I might find before me, my father is a very cruel person.

I found Potter lying awake in the middle of the room. He had wounds and brushes but the only blood on him was dry. When he saw it was me he backed away like a scared animal and only stopped when the wall prevented him too. This showed that my father had caused the wounds though had not been here to for fill his wicked plans. 

He cried out at the top of his lungs and told me to get away. Fool I am not like my father; I was not there to hurt him but if he was not gonna come with me it might turn out worse, or both of us. So I did my best to calm him.

It took me an hour to get him to trust me and take him out of there and even then he made me go first so that he could watch me. It is so good to be trusted like that, don't you think? He was limping badly but he refused my help proudly so I left him be, I was doing enough by helping him this much already. 

I lead him up the servant's stairs and to my room. He didn't say anything but rested there, breathing heavily and holding his side. By the pained look on his face I would say that he had some cracked ribs, I know what that feels like thanks to my father. I gave him water and he gulped it down greedily, not caring that I might have poisoned it. 

He was beginning to trust me and in all rights he shouldn't have, he didn't know my reasons for helping him after all. Next he might think I was honorable and that I am not as bad as I appear to be. 

He said nothing, only sat looking at me. It was almost calming to look into those green eyes, like liquid peace. But that peace was broken by my father's loud cry. "Draco what did you do with him?! I know you're hiding him Draco! You'll pay for this treachery!!" 

His eyes widened and I jumped out and pulled my jar of Floo powder out of a drawer. I stuffed it and a piece of paper with an address on it into his hand and hurried him to the fireplace. "Go there, they will help you." He looked at me "Come with me" he urge, finally realizing what I had done for him. I backed up, telling him that I couldn't.

Just then my father broke open my door. "Go!" I yelled and saw Potter disappear. My father turned his anger on me, but the pain didn't matter; Potter was free and someday I would be. Maybe then I would be able to sleep without nightmares about my father waking me.

Now I had only to wait for my freedom and what sweet, sweet freedom that would be…


	11. part 11

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Disclaimer: **JK. Rowling is the genius behind Harry Potter. 

**Note: **Written tothe theme of Gummy Bears and Digimon, I'm not kidding! I'm depressed and it cheers me up, I'll be singing along at the end of the fic yet.  ****

Lupin's POV, I love him and had to put this in.

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**Part 11**

We sat around the table in the kitchen discussing what we could do to rescue Harry but came up with little. The problem was that we didn't have any idea where he was. Plans helped little when you didn't know where you had to perform them.

My eyes fell on Ron and my heart ached for him. He had the look of total misery on his face. I had noticed that he had had an attraction to Harry when I had been at Hogwarts but I never knew his feelings had been so deep. He really loved Harry and this was killing him; this uncertainty, it helplessness and I felt wretched for not being able to act. 

I hate seeing people miserable and it breaks my heart to know that Ron must suffer so for someone that didn't know of his feelings for him. I'm not saying that Harry doesn't love him; oh no Ron means the world to Harry, the test proved it, but it's not good for the soul to long for someone you think you could never have.

I stood up and moved to the counter to pour him a cup of coffee. I returned a moment later and put it and a piece of chocolate in front of him. He's liquid brown eyes met mine and I could see the tears behind them. The sadness that reflected in them was so deep that I knew we would loose him too if we didn't find Harry; If not to death by his own hand then by the grievous madness that would follow the loss.

I sat down and took his hand in mine, giving it a soft squeeze. "We'll find him." I promised and I really hope it was a promise I could keep. I knew how hard it is to hope for someone's safety; even though I had thought Sirius a traitor I still hoped him save. I also know what it is like to love someone with your whole heart and I wished to see him and Harry together, if not as lovers then as friends. I know how lucky I was to find Sirius and I know that it is not always possible to be with the one you long for but I wish for nothing more than to see the fire that burns in Ron's heart mirrored in Harry's too…    


	12. part12

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Disclaimer: **JK. Rowling is the genius behind Harry Potter. 

**Note:** 2yes count them 2 chapters. What can I say, it's 12:58am and I might as well right this, I have nothing better to do; sleep is for sane people. Anyway I said way back at the beginning of this story that I am an Insomniac so it is no surprise. I wrote the chapter before this one because I love Lupin though I don't think I write him well. This chapter is gonna be Harry's POV and we'll find out where Draco had sent him, though I think it's pretty obvious. *snicker* if CF is reading this she's say "It was a total surprise!"  She wrote that in a review she gave my one vampire story. The guy died what was surprising about that? I'm still depressed for those who care. 

Harry's POV

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**Part 12**

I stumbled out of the fireplace and fell unceremonially to my knees. I cough the dust out of my lungs and look up to find three shocked faces starring at me. My brain was numb and it wouldn't register who it was until it fixed onto the red hair. I crawled a few feet toward him and croaked out his name.

"Ron."

He was by my side in a flash and I fell into his arms sobbing and clinging to him. The other two, my godfather and Prof Lupin as my mind told me two seconds later also came to my side but I only wanted Ron by me at that moment. I gripped him tighter, fearing that if I let go of him he might turn into mist and that I would be back in the dungeon to face what Draco was facing at this very moment.

I sobbed out all that had happened and every thing about Draco. I doubt that I make any sense but through it all Ron held me and smoothed my hair and muttered softly that it was all right and that I was save and that we would help Draco. This made me cling to him even tighter and I could feel his heartbeat. It was racing, beating franticly in his chest but for some reason it helped me calm down and regain my wits. 

I lifted my head to look him in the eyes and for the first time I saw that silent tears where spilling from his eyes and I reached out my hand and brushed then away from his cheeks. He was so beautiful, even when he looked so sad and I knew I had to tell him of my feelings and of my biggest fear, something that had been plaguing me for a while now.

"My biggest fear when I was caught was not that I would die, but that I would never see you again. You mean so much to me" I said as I ran my fingers over his cheek. Then I tilted his head up and gazed deeply into his eyes. I took a deep breath, knowing that if he rejected this our friendship was over.

"I love you Ron." I said and moved to bring our lips together. I waited for him to pull away but he didn't, instead he pulled me closer to him and deepened the kiss. He pulled away only when he was out of breath and then he rested his head on my shoulder. "I love you too, more than anything in the world. Don't ever leave me" He said and I knew he was crying again.

My eyes traveled to the two men standing close together before me, Sirius and Remus. They looked happy and relieved. I had known for some time now that they where a couple and I'm sure there glad for both me a Ron, but I wanted to be alone with him now. I needed to know he was really there, and I needed his arms to keep me save while I slept. I was so tired.

Sirius sensed this and after a quick trip to a room where I was cleaned and where there was a warm bed they left and I was free to fall into a peaceful sleep with my head resting on Ron's heart…   


	13. part 13, the end.

**Insomnia**

By: Grey Wolf

**Disclaimer: **JK. Rowling is the genius behind Harry Potter. I own her, so they are mine all mine!!!

**Note: **I just had to do one last chapter, slash is shunned where I live and my 'best friend' hates it. Well I hate her so it's okay. I hate close minded people!! Run homophobias or I'll set Fluffy on you. This is the last chapter… um unless I write another. It's 1:38 am and insomnia came to me again and since I can't be in the arms of my love, I write. *singing* "Gummy bears, bouncing here and there and everywhere…" so I like Gummy Bears. I can like what I want; I don't go on about the fact that Westlife is still a horrid boy band. Grrr!

This is Ron's POV, the waking up and finding it's not a dream. For the 100th person (if there is one) that reviews me (no cheating, I'm not blonde so I'm not that dumb) I'll write a fan fiction. Anything you would like =^-^= ****

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**Part 13**

I woke; thinking that I had dreamed it all. That Harry had not said the words my heart longed for and my soul needed to make itself complete, to be whole. For a moment I felt the world around me collapse and turn upside down. It felt like I was falling into a deep dark pit from which I could not escape and that I would drown in it and that that would be the end of me. 

Only for a moment.

I opened my eyes and saw his sleeping form next to me and for the first time, or so it felt, I was sure that I want to wake up next to him every day for the rest of my life. I didn't care what people thought; I belonged next to Harry, in sleep and in his day to day life. It is where I want to be, but doubt crept into my mind and I wondered if Harry had meant what he had said. I wondered if he really loved me of if it had been hysteria, a lie.

I felt the tears build up in me and I fought hard to hide them. What if he loved Draco? That could happen. Draco had saved him after all, I did nothing. I did nothing to help him when I was in danger, so why would he love me? How could he love someone like me, some poor little boy when he could have Draco?

I turned to lie on my back and stare up at the roof. I still felt his warm body next to me but I shifted so that he was just a warm memory. I would have liked nothing more that to curl up with him in my arms and kiss his sweet lips, but the rejection would kill me. But what if there was no rejection? I argued with myself, what if he actually loves me like he said he did? The argument played out in me mind: He did, he didn't, he did, he didn't…

I was so caught up in my mental argument that I didn't feel Harry stir and wake. He moved over to me and wrapped his arms around me. I jumped and it caused him to giggle. "Do I really look that horrible in the, morning?" he asked and covered my lips with his. He pulled away and rested his head on my chest "I love you." He said. I ran my hand through his hair and asked him how much.

He sat up and looked at me in all earnesty with his bewitching green eyes. "With all my heart, and I always will." His hand intertwined with mine and at that moment I knew that it would be so, that we would stand together and that if it needed be, die together. I had found my greatest love; my soul mate and not even Voldemort could tear us apart.

I pulled Harry to me again, and as we laid there together our future was an unsure one, but it didn't matter, as long as we where together, every thing would be alright. We would face the future together, always.

The End


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